Crumbling under pressure like a cookie 🍪
Phone anxiety | Sticking to a plan | Advocating for yourself 1st
Phone anxiety, it's real and it's a diagnosable problem (here's the treatment) 💊:
How many times have you called someone~ a stranger, a customer service rep, the cashier at Dominos, your landlord, your boss~ and choked under pressure? Maybe they're in a bad mood (you heard it in their voice) or you start stuttering out of the blue…
What happens in those few moments between the time we push 'Call' and then hear “How can I help you today?”
It looks like this:
Sweaty pits
Racing thoughts like “What if I sound dumb?” or “They probably can't answer my question anyway.”
Increased heart rate > normal breathing pace
Then, oh my gosh, I'm FREAKING out, I'll just hangup, like now…they're not answering…this is a waste of time 😟
That's been me ALL week. I've been on the phone with rental agents, non-profit CEOs, plumbers, FB Marketplace buyers, basically all of the general public. 🙄
As women, we give ourselves pep-talks before we open up and put our shit on the line. Maybe it's me, but I feel like we're always scripted and having to read out the right words or risk hearing “Get her off the set! This lady can't even speak proper English!” 📽
Here's the problem with the scripts we write in our heads:
They're probably not how you actually think or talk.
Going off script, especially on the phone, can be freaky. With phone communication, it's important to stay firm with the reason you called.
For example: Let's say you are calling an apartment complex to ask for an application fee refund (this happened to me BTW). Do not get sucked into their upsells and end up agreeing to another unit which will NOT work for your budget, just because the apartment complex doesn't want to refund you even though they mistakenly rented out the unit after telling you to apply anyway… yeah, no. 🧐
Stick to a plan. You get on the phone, you request a refund, and you do not take ‘no' for an answer. It's easier than it sounds, I know.
When people give you the runaround it can feel like everyone is circling you, calling the shots, or worse, taking advantage of your meekness.
Keep doing your pep-talks before phone calls, but advocate for yourself and try to talk up your natural speech rhythm instead of planning out overly formal talking points like “Yes, I'm calling to inquire about the legitimacy of your Craigslist offer and understand the ramifications of the foreseeable problems I might have…blah blah blah,” you get the point.
Go forth, get what you need, and good luck. 💫
This week's graphic artist is Katja Pérez. I hope you are inspired by its magical message like I am.🧞♀️